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Shadow the Hedgehog
Shadow is a chad who is gay and hates Nagito Komaeda. His chadness allows him to have a gun despite being 15. He is the patriarch of the shangry family despite being 15. he is constantly being harassed by his fans on myspace, whom he tells to get off his digital lawn. early life shadow is the asexual creation of alien cult leader black doom and human scientist doctor gerald robotnik. both used the asexual reproduction method known as "budding" to create shadow out of a bar of soap, the inspiration behind shadow's now famous soap shoes. black doom and gerald were both gay, but not for each other, and they constantly fought over whether shadow should go to private school. shadow coped by practicing tricks on his heelies and hanging out with geralds niece maria robotnik, whom he views as a sister. maria had a rare condition called mesothelioma, which she contracted when she briefly became a republican. this condition forced her to live in outer space where there are no republicans allowed in the hopes of curing her disease. the only republican principle shadow supports is gun rights, but only for himself. the original ark incident shadow and his family lived on the space colony ark, a free floating station in orbit around the earth. this came to end however when the us government conducted a raid on the ark, in the hopes of stealing gerald robotnik's gay rights for themselves. despite her pro gun rights stances, maria was ironically killed by a good guy with a gun, an event that immediately soured shadows relationship with law enforcement. shadow and gerald both survived the ark raid: black doom and his alien cult were at an intergalactic comic convention at the time of the raid and were thus spared for the time being. gerald was found guilty of having being a double in a no-doubles kin server and was promptly executed, and shadow was sealed in suspended animation on family values island, a fate worse than death. Sonic Adventure 2 Shadow was awoken 50 years later by his nephew Eggman. Shadow’s first words were “how can an ugly fuck like eggman get laid?” Following this incident shadow began to collect the chaos emeralds in order to blow the earth up because he saw the presence of Republicanism as proof that humanity had failed. However, his efforts were thwarted by none other than Sonic the Hedgehog. Sonic reminded Shadow about Maria and the Republican Values she loved so much. Shadow declared he would never love a stupid gay like Sonic and threw him against a wall. Later on Shadow questioned why he did that because he actually did like sonic. Shadow also denies throwing him against a wall, insisting that he hurt him only emotionally not physically. Together, sonic and shadow turned Goku and stopped the space colony ark from destroying Earth. Unfortunately, Shadow was sent plumetting down to Earth to his death. o7 Birth of a New Universe When shadow died, his consciousness was transferred to a void, and when he awoken, a Big Bang occurred, creating all the galaxies and stars in the universe. Shadow had ascended to a cosmic being...Category:Chads Category:Says reclaimed slurs Category:Shangryhood Category:Gods Category:Pre-Shangry Civilaztion Category:Gods/Divine Beings